The murmur that wasn't about murmurs

For longer than I want to admit, I could not make heart murmurs stay in my head. I read the chapter. I watched the videos. I could recite "ejection systolic murmur radiating to the carotids" like a parrot — Mitski was proud — but if you changed the question slightly, the whole structure collapsed.

Here's the embarrassing truth I only discovered later: I didn't have a murmur problem. I had a pressure-gradient problem wearing a murmur costume.

Murmurs are just turbulent flow. Turbulent flow is just blood crossing a pressure gradient it shouldn't be crossing, at a time it shouldn't be crossing it. Which means understanding murmurs actually requires four older, quieter concepts: when exactly each valve opens and closes, what the pressures are doing on each side at that moment, which direction blood wants to move, and what systole and diastole actually mean beyond the definitions. I had "covered" all four in second year. I retained maybe two.

No summary in the world could have fixed this, because summaries answer the question you asked. My question was wrong.

This exact experience became the flagship feature of Meyshan Med. Lecture Rescue doesn't summarise your chapter — it interrogates you. A short diagnostic walks down the prerequisite chain, and the Confusion Map colours what it finds: green for solid, yellow for shaky, red for the missing brick. Then it teaches the deepest red thing first, even when that thing isn't in the chapter you uploaded.

The first time I ran my own murmur confusion through it, the map put "pressure gradients across valves" in red before it ever mentioned a murmur. Watching my own confusion get diagnosed correctly by something I helped build was the strangest mix of embarrassment and relief — being wrong about why I was wrong, and finally seeing it drawn on a map.

Try it on the topic that's been quietly defeating you. My bet: your murmur isn't about murmurs either.

— Meyshan · Start a Lecture Rescue · How Rescue works, honestly